


Dean's Mantra is Fuck It

by professortennant



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gen, M/M, in which i fix that episode's ending, post ep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-23
Updated: 2013-10-23
Packaged: 2017-12-30 06:33:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1015322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/professortennant/pseuds/professortennant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He thinks about the way Castiel had turned to Dean incredulously when he sat down on the bed and Dean had explained it was memory foam. Cas had been wide-eyed as he placed a hand on the mattress and whispered, “It will remember me?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dean's Mantra is Fuck It

On the way to the library, Dean thinks about everything Castiel has been through.

He thinks about the way Castiel came out of the bathroom wrapped in towels and his own ratty grey bathrobe, smiling softly to himself.

He thinks about the way Castiel had turned to Dean incredulously when he sat down on the bed and Dean had explained it was memory foam. Cas had been wide-eyed as he placed a hand on the mattress and whispered, “It will remember me?” 

He thinks about the way Castiel had bitten into a gas station burrito and moaned like it was a four-star dining experience and offering Dean a bite of his burrito because even starved as he was, Castiel thought of Dean. 

He thinks about the way Castiel once ran from him, determined to protect him from what he thought was most dangerous about him—angels and leviathans and all the rest. He thinks about the nightly phone calls Cas made to Dean, just to check in and make sure everyone is safe.

He thinks about the promises he made the former angel. Promises of family and “we’ll come find you.” 

He thinks about all of this and when he reaches the library where Castiel is stuffing his face into gas station foil and letting his fingertips skim the surface of some book on the table with awed reverence, Dean decides (with the usual ‘fuck it’ that accompanies most of his major decisions.)

He feels more sure of his decision when Cas turns to him—wide blue eyes and that fucking smidge of happiness still present, evidenced by the upward twitch of his lips.

"Yes, Dean? Is there something you wished to discuss? You know I appreciate and value our conversations and," Castiel’s cheeks seemed to tinge pink for a second. "And our time together. Always."

Dean smiled and perched himself on the edge of the table. Zeke’s words ran through his head—He will bring the angels down on us. He is not safe. 

He sighed.

Fuck it.

"Yeah, buddy. Just wanted to see if you were okay." 

Cas smiled and straightened in his seat, “I’m fine, Dean. I think—I think there are things about humanity that I am looking forward to.”

Dean nodded, “Good. That’s good, Cas.”

He scratched the back of his neck. He was getting too tired for this shit—lies and deceit and fuck what will happen to Sam now?

"Well, I’ll leave you to the burrito. There’s more in the kitchen, let us know if you need anything, okay?" 

Dean moved to get off the table but Castiel’s hand on his thigh stopped him. He tries not to think of the way Castiel’s hand burns through the denim and sears his skin. 

"Dean, I—I wanted to thank you. I know I have not been the easiest friend to have around but I am glad you still see something in me worth keeping around. I know I am a danger to you and, just, say the word and I’ll leave you, leave the bunker."

Cas looks like he’s waiting for Dean to say just that. To tell him he can’t stay, that he’s too dangerous, that he can’t be around the Winchesters.

Well, Dean can’t have that.

Fuck it.

"Cas, dude, we don’t keep you around because you’re worth something or because you have angelic mojo or whatever. We keep you around—I keep you around—because you’re family. ‘Cause you’ve been to bat for us more times than we can count and we’re not about to abandon you on the side of the road when you’re a bright shiny human for the angels to feast on, okay? You’re staying here with me and no one’s taking you away. This is your home now.”

Well, that was more than Dean wanted to say, really. And he seemed to realize it about 2 seconds after he said it. 

"I mean, you’re staying with us—me and Sam—and you know, this is your home if you want. You can, you know, find a place somewhere else if you want, you don’t have to be tied to me—us—”

But he’s cut off by Cas standing up and wrapping his arms around Dean’s shoulder with more confidence than Dean would have given the angel credit for. And the hugging is—okay it’s nice. Really nice. With a type of familiarity that Dean didn’t know what missing.

Castiel’s muffled, “Thank you. Thank you,” let’s Dean know that he’s made the right choice in disregarding Zeke’s advice and doing what his head and heart tell him. 

God, now he sounds like Sam.

Right, hugging. 

Dean manages to wrap his own arms around the angel (who has somehow nudged between Dean’s legs so Dean is sitting on the table still with an armful and lapful of angel).

This is where Cas belongs and he’ll fight Zeke and any other dick angel that comes along and tries to take him away.


End file.
